I don't think you could get much worse than being with my boyfriend. I will call him Lance A. Boil, or just Lance.
Lance and I have lived together for the past two and a half years. At first we got on all right but it quickly became apparent to me that I would pretty much have to carry the relationship if I wanted one at all. I work pretty much full time in a job that takes alot out of me while Lance sits at home, agonizing about "always being alone." I recently lost one of my handicapped clients which sent Lance into an emotional tailspin rivaled only by an f-5 tornado. This "downsizing" was through no fault of my own but now he's insisting I apply through this other agency to try and get those hours back. The agency I already work for prohibits working for competing agencies -- how would it look to them if their star employee defected to the competition?? He won't shut up about it at all and his constant harping about it is threatening to drive me crazy.
Lance hasn't contributed too much to the household besides taking me back and forth to work (I am still working on getting a driver's license) This is the one area where he truly has me by the short and curlies. Every time I get fed up with his shoddy behavior and want to leave he says "ok, walk to work then!" !!! As the main breadwinner, i need to be able to get back and forth to work -- no choice!!! I promise you things will be different when i eventually get my license!!!
Lance doesn't pay me a single cent in rent or utilities. Often times I have ended up paying his child support for him so he doesn't end up w/o a driver's license himself. I pretty much support the both of us. Rent and all utilities are paid and we have groceries although Lance blames me for the cable being shut off so now he can't watch his favorite show. Lance blames me for pretty much everything from having no money to his big toe hurting. If I spend $400 or $500 on him, that's all right -- but if I spend $30 on a CD for myself, forget it. I'm NOT telling him about the $100 I spent on myself recently -- boy would he have a fit...and anyway I don't see where that is his business!!!
The reason for my anger and seeming hostility? Lance is a verbally abusive, controlling, extremely hostile man. Any time I open up to anyone about what life is like at home and Lance finds out, I get the third degree. I'm not supposed to tell you that when he gets extremely bad, he threatens suicide and cuts his own arms. I'm not supposed to tell you he kicked one of our cats so that the poor animal became airborne. (He cried a river after I chewed him out for that one but all I could feel for him was icy contempt.) I'm not supposed to associate with any other men. I'm not supposed to have an opinion or take a course of action other than what he prescribes. Watch carefully at our friendly get togethers -- I invariably become the butt of all his and his friends' jokes. (To her credit, his best friend's girlfriend asks them what's wrong with them.) Lance tries his best to control how I spend my money, what I eat, etc. If we go to Wal Mart or the store and I go off on my own he gets very huffy and insists I need constant adult supervision (I'm a woman of 29!). If I get him a gift, and its not something he specifically wanted, then its all wrong. He does his best to humiliate me and put me in my place but I have stood firm despite his telling me "I'm making a scene". I told him last week I was sick of the manipulation crap so he better just stop with it. He very nearly drove me to the edge before -- I was seething with rage and he was crying to me on the telephone after I snapped and started to call him every name in the book. Why? Because he told me to put a close friend on "Ignore". Needless to say I disregarded that one completely. It's tragic when you seek refuge in work and household chores -- this isn't living -- this is trying not to have the living shit beaten out of you one more time.
Yes I love this man but he's a trip without luggage -- one which two ex wives decided to cancel -- he says they were b*tches -- I personally think they are smart -- I'm biding my time!!!! Watch out you screwed up sonofabitch!!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURS!!
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